Double Vision

Feeling a little philosophical today. That gets me in trouble sometimes. I keep thinking about a scene in the movie The Matrix. Neo the main character in the movie seems to know that something is not right in his world. Intuitively he realizes things are not what they seem. I often find myself in that same place. There are times I sense that much of what I focus on really has little significance. That much of what our culture focuses on really does not matter. It stirs something in my spirit and makes me very restless.

There is a great scene in the movie when Morpheous, the leader of a rebel group first meets Neo. He offers him a choice of two pills, one blue one red. One will open his eyes to see the world as it really is. One will let him go back to living his normal life, ignorant to realities of his world. Neo chooses the pill that will open his eyes to see things as they really are. Once he does that the adventure begins.

I'm afraid things are not as they seem. I know this and I get restless. Maybe its time for an adventure that I keep putting on hold.

Peace,

 

SOS to Yoda

My kids think I am a Jedi Knight. Actually maybe not. I have told them that I am but have not been able to produce a convincing light saber or move anything with my mind. They may be on to me. 

Sometimes I feel like a Jedi. Today was one of those days. "A disturbance in the force I feel." Today something in my spirit has been bugging me. Can't seem to figure it out. I have been trying to make contact with Yoda and he is obviously in another galaxy. Just my luck!

Peace,

Love Shack

So I am reading this book called The Shack. I have fought it for months. I had to many people telling me "you have to read this book" not always a good thing. Andi brought it over yesterday and I stayed up till 12:30am reading. It is a good read. My problem has been every time I say the name of the book, The Shack, I want to bust out a chorus of B52's Love Shack Baby. 

Now understand the two shacks in question here are very different. But I think I have found a significant connection. It would be LOVE.

What an over used word love is in our modern day vocabulary. I love pizza, my wife, the Sooners and coffee. Maybe not in that order but I say I love eighteen different things a day. I do love my wife but the other stuff, I just like a lot not really so much love. Listen today and see how many times you here someone say " Oh I just love _________!" (fill in the blank). I Wonder why we throw this word, love around so loosely and so often? Maybe because true love is so hard to find and especially hard to experience.

There is a great line in the book The Shack. "You were created to be loved. So for you to live as if you were unloved is a limitation." That one got my attention. I have lived much of my life feeling unloved and having a hard time accepting others love. I recognize the limitations that puts on me but never really saw it that way. It is like all you want is to be loved but for some reason you just don't seem to experience the very thing your heart deeply desires. 

I totally get how we can get to a place that we feel unlovable, but it's not true. The truth is each of us are lovable and worthy of love. But we have to believe that. If we don't believe that we automatically put limitations on our lives. 

This all reminds me of one of my favorite verses in God's word. 

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!

 And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

I need to remember that. Remember that the Father loves me. Not just loves me, but is lavish with his love. Kind of like he just keeps pouring it over my head with an endless supply. Walking in that kind of love every day would be very empowering, don't you think.

Peace, 

So How's That Working For You?

I am grateful for Memorial Day. Grateful that our country is willing to set aside a time to remember the men and women who have died for the pursuit of freedom. I am thankful for all those men and women. I also think about from this day forward and wonder if there is another way. Do people have to continue to die on the battle field. I ask my self today how is the whole war thing working?

I read an interesting quote this morning. Don't know who to credit it to, but here it is. "When the power of love is greater than the love of power, the world will be at peace." On this Memorial Day I remember the one man who truly came in the name of love. He offered and continues to offer a better way. His Kingdom is not one that leads with the kind of power we seem to gravitate towards.

In our Christian Country, (whatever that means) we lead with power and might. We even go off to war with God on our side using him as a pawn to validate or justify our pursuit of power and world dominance. Of course this is not original with us, it has been going on for centuries. We need to be honest, we are not pursuing peace as much as we are pursuing power. There is a big difference. That kind of power will never produce peace. It produces death. So we will continue to have Memorial Days.

So today I give thanks and remember the men and women who have served and died. I also remember the one who died so that this life could be different. He has been called "The Prince of Peace." That has a nice ring to it. I believe we have been pursuing a little peace.

"So how is this whole war thing working for you?"

Peace,

American Idol This Sunday

I am teaching/preaching this weekend. Whatever you prefer to call it. I prefer teaching. It always creates some interesting dynamics for me. I really enjoy it and want people to be blessed by sitting and listening to me. I realize a big part of myself is weaved into the lesson, but I don't want it to be about me. I think teaching matters and should be a part of what we do when we get together. But I also believe we put way too much emphasis on it.

I believe in our American/Western culture we worship Pastors. I believe God calls this idolatry. He is pretty clear he is not a real big fan of this. We simply take him off the alter and put a man up there. Certainly not a new phenomenon, but still wrong. 

I hope this weekend people will see Jesus and not too much of me. Let's save American Idol for Wednesday or whatever night it comes on. Oh wait, now we are back at idolatry. Darn maybe it's not just Pastors. 

Peace, 

I Hugged My Son

Have you laughed until you cried or cried until you laughed? It seems the two are profoundly connected. Maybe the truth is to experience life to the fullest we must experience both the joy and the sorrow that are both a reality of this life.

Sometime my life gets out of balance in this area. I often find sorrow more comfortable than joy. That will not leave me in a happy place and my family and friends don't always know how to respond to that. I want more joy but sometimes find it allusive. 

If the two (joy and sorrow) are so closely connected maybe I can find more joy in my sorrow.

My 38 year old cousin, Daniel Max Mead, took his life Wednesday. I guess he was overwhelmed with life and felt like ending his was the best option he had.  Daniel was a good man with a good heart who needed more joy in his life. 

On the phone with my mother discussing this today, the sorrow comes rushing in. I think I need to feel that for Daniel, his wife and kids, my Aunt and Uncle. Sometimes people try to run from sorrow and pretend it is not there. That life is only joy and good times. That can get as unhealthy as living with sorrow all the time.

I want to embrace the brokenness in my life and the world, taste sorrow when it is present. But, what Jesus models is that in brokenness I can find life, I can experience joy. So I want both. More joy because life is good, more joy because Abba loves me. I also want a heart that has compassion for the pain in my life and the lives of others. I want both and that's OK.

I experienced sorrow this morning and then I hugged my boy and I felt better.

Peace,

Birds and Poor People

I went to my men's group this morning which I do each Thursday. Great group of men and always one of the highlights of my week. The text and conversation really challenged me. I continue to wrestle with it a bit. 

The text was Matt. 6:25-34. This text encourages me not to worry about my life. Little things like what I will have to eat and the clothes I wear. Jesus uses the birds as an example. I love birds, but that is a different post. God takes care of the birds so I can trust that God will provide for me. I agree with this and have experienced it to be true in my life. So it seems pretty simple and I just need to not worry about stuff. Ready to move on to the next verses. 

But wait! What about the people in our world who really don't have food, shelter or clothes to wear. I'm thinking about this but decide to let it go. One of the guys does not. He ask the question. "So what about all the people who don't have their basic needs taken care of"?

So the challenge for me is this. Is it true or not? Will God really take care of people the same way that he takes care of the birds?

Here is my resolution on this for right now. Understanding I always have the right to change my mind. Have I mentioned that I am a walking contradiction. Wait, that is another post. 

We live in a fallen world. Bad things happen to good people every day. God has called his Church which includes me to care for those who don't have food, shelter and clothing. So why does the church and myself so often do such a poor job of caring for the basic needs of the world around us?

Through this process, that was the bigger and more difficult question for me. Then the text comes full circle. I don't live with open hands to the world around me because I worry. I want to have all the stuff I need like food, clothing, shelter, cars, TVs, cool running shoes, vanilla breve lattes, books(have I mentioned I like books), just lot's of stuff. Stuff that I really don't need. The truth is it is stuff I want. God is ready and willing to give me what I need. 

So all that to say, I learned something today about God and myself. God will take care of my needs, and if I trust him I can then be more sensitive to the needs of others around me. I can be an extension of God's love and grace to the world that desperately needs to know him. What if the church (universal) started to take care of the poor and needy? Didn't put it on our governments or other organizations, but took seriously the call to take care of the needy.

I believe God wants us to do that. He wants me to do that. I hear him saying to me today. He is saying, don't worry about your stuff, don't live with your hands closed. Live with your hands open, trusting that I will take care of all your needs. He and I feed the birds and he wants you and I to feed and care for those in need. Living with no worries, just like the birds. But then I wonder. Do the birds worry about cat's. Oh wait, that would be another post.

Peace, 

The Loving Father

This picture has had a huge impact on my life. It is one of Rembrandt's spirituals titled, the Return of the Prodigal Son.

I was first introduced to it through a book by Henri Nouwen with the same title. I find myself in this picture. Let me explain.

This story found in Luke 15 has three main characters. The father, the elder son and the younger son. I find myself in each of these characters.

I relate to the younger son who basically says the father does not have my best interest at heart and I will go do my own thing. Been there do that.

I can also be the self righteous elder brother who thinks I'm doing things pretty well and even better than most. He really did not believe the father was really watching his back either.

Neither boy really believed that the father was good. Neither believed that the father could be trusted, that he would be faithful to them as his children.

This painting and the book forced me to put my focus somewhere else. This story really is about the loving father. A father who longs to be in relationship with all his children even me. This father sits up late at night waiting for me to come home. His heart aches when I wonder off trying to do life on my own. His love is based only on the fact that I am his. The more I understand this the more I want to be like the Father.

There is so much more to this picture. The prodigals shaved head and bare feet are significant. In his culture he was unacceptable, he had messed up big time but the Father does not even seem to notice. He is just elated that his son has come home. I see a father of compassion, love and grace.

I so much want to be that kind of father. I want to love my wife and kids unconditionally. I want to be in relationships where I extend compassion and grace. 

I want to be like the Father. I think he would be just fine with that.

Peace, 

Forward Motion

I would suggest that much of life is simply forward motion. Taking risks, growing as a person, experiencing life, pursuing dreams, all of these require forward motion. We have to take steps toward those dreams and desires or they stay an arms length away. Today I am taking a step and creating forward motion. I have talked about blogging for a long time and simply would not take the simple steps to make that happen. Two months ago Natalie (my beautiful wife) informed me in the middle of the night, like 3:30 am that I should be blogging. It was rather random for her to be talking to me in the middle of the night and for her to say out of the blue "you really need to start blogging".  So today it begins. 

Sir Isaac Newton developed his three laws of motion. Now I am not really smart enough to fully understand these, but I do find them interesting. The first one states (1) an object in motion stays in motion until acted upon by an outside force. I don't really think Sir Isaac was talking about a spiritual truth here but I see one. I believe God created me for forward motion. So I wonder what is it about life that locks me up? What keeps me paralyzed and stops me from pursuing my dreams and walking fully in what God has called and created me to be? For me it is fear. I know fear is not from the Lord. So maybe Sir Issac was on to something here. I am striving to allow, as C.S. Lewis would say "the Christ in Me" to create forward motion.

Starting this blog is just on of many baby steps. I so enjoy this journey!

Peace,