I share this, acknowledging that I am a blessed man and yet sometimes I feel hopeless. Not even sure why sometimes. Some of it seems to come from this understanding that God has so much more for me and I can't seem to step into it or just simply refuse to receive it. Either way it seems to be about me and then I think it is not suppose to be about me it is suppose to be about him.
I have told Michael who is about to graduate that we would give him a computer for a graduation present. He shared with me this week a good friend is maybe going to sell his MacBook and wanted to know if we could buy it and he would pay for half of it. I told him we could discuss that if and when his friend decides to sell. But I am thinking, "why would you buy something used and pay half when I have told you we are going to buy you a new computer and pay for it ourselves." Seems silly to me and we will have that conversation at some point.
But maybe I am the same way with God and hope. Maybe I try to get my own hope through my own power and end up being a little dissatisfied. I wonder if God is not saying to me "Todd I will give you what you need, I will give you more, transform you into the man you were created to be and the man you desire to be." Maybe it is there, right in front of me and I just continue to try and take care of it myself and end up feeling a little hopeless.
Today I felt the sun on a cool morning and felt some hope. Thanks God! Today I was reminded there are people pursuing God and loving people and doing it in the name of Jesus and not the name of some denomination. It gave me hope, thanks God. Today I was reminded what a gift my wife and children are and I felt hopeful. Thanks again. Today I was reminded that everyday is a new day to know God and make him know, and I felt hope.
Wow! I am feeling much more hopeful. Thanks God!
Peace, todd
2 comments:
Hey Todd, thanks for this post. I know what you mean about hope. Sometimes I do rely on my own self to get to where I need to be, etc. when God really is there as my hope. Something he is continuing to teach us is that it's not about us, but that we are at God's disposal, for him to use us. In that, I am full of hope, like you said, that he will provide - because he knows me best and he knows Bryan best. Happy New Year to you and the family.
Hi Mead,
"Lose Hope, and all hope is lost.."
these are the words the character of my book spoke in a letter..
How true it is.
A homeless man ministered to me one Sunday morning when I was feeling particularly hopeless. He said; 'Hopelessness is a spirit. It's a tool of the enemy." How right he was! How true! Of course, it's tempting to say jesus grieved but God tells us that through HIM there is joy, and He promises us that, so if we are not joyful, if we succumb to hopelessness, whose lie are we believing? The enemy has a way of attaching himself to our soul. Of course, the father of this world knows our background, and it is his playground. To refuse his offer of despair is to take back our domain, our real estate, and, as God says; "Guard our hearts" Proverbs 4. It's time to refuse it. It's a lie and our children deserve more. Blessings, T
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