Let It Be

Not even going to speak to the fact I have not been on here forever. Oh wait I just did. Funny how easy it is to not do some things in our life we really desire to do. So here I go again to make another run at blogging. Maybe this time it will stick.

Had a few thoughts this morning that I wanted to share with someone. I really struggle sometimes with the way I am wired-up which seems to to be very different than the norm. Here are a few things I believe and things I am pursuing and maybe they are not as normal as I think they are or should be. Here is the short list this morning.

1) Being is more important than doing.

2) God's love is more important than the praise of people.

3) Being together is better than being alone.

My life is driven by a desire to live in community. Community with God, my wife and kids and the world around me. I believe that above list is connected to this and when you leave out one is messes up the pursuit of community.

I wonder why doing is so important? Why is it so hard to just be who we are and rest and relax in that?

Why do we make people so BIG and God so small?

If we are all honest with ourselves which is sometimes hard if we are busy doing all the time. Don't we desperately want to be in community and relationship with people who love us not because of what we do but because of who we are?

I hope over the holidays you can rest and just be. For many this is almost impossible. I hope you can reflect on God's unique and powerful love for you. And I hope you will spend time with others you love and who love you.

Peace, todd

Haircuts and Church

I had a beautiful random conversation with the lady who cut my hair today. I have moved to a place in my life where I just pull up to a hair salon walk in and take my chances. I figure it's just hair it will grow back. Today this women was obviously struggling a little. She did not have a clue what I do (ministry) which probably helped the conversation get started. 

She started discussing freedom and that she did not have any. She was slave to the chair I was sitting in, slave to the man who financed her car, basically a slave to her circumstances. I listened and I believe I understood where she was coming from. What I really heard was a women who wants more for her life. I saw a women who had been wounded by people and the world we live in, some of the choices she has made. I saw a women who was looking for some hope.

I mentioned it must be really hard being a single mom. She stopped cutting my hair and came around and looked at me. We had not been talking about that, but it seemed to connect. She looked at me and said, "yeah, it really is." I seemed to connect with some of her pain and the conversation shifted. She teared up. The conversation shifted and turned much more personal. 

I finally had to share with her what I do. Ask her not to hold that against me. She was gracious but quickly said she did not go to church. She had tried it over and over but it did not work for her. 

I apologized for God's people not representing Him very well. I shared with her that God understood where she was at and had some answers. That freedom can be found in Jesus and it has nothing to do with our external circumstances but with what he is doing in our hearts. We visited a few minutes more and I left her with tears in her eyes but also a smile. A smile that seemed more hopeful than it had been before the conversation started.

I was reminded how the world will always disappoint, but that God is faithful. Reminded that God is redeeming his creation today. His heart is to make everything new. I like that about him. I was also reminded church is so much more than an hour on Sunday. The best church happens during the week, when we are sensitive to where the Spirit is moving and we jump in for the ride.

Peace, todd

Keeping It Real

Have you ever noticed the Bibles speaks truths that are sometimes very uncomfortable? A friend recently was sharing a story with me of how they were providing council to another friend. They made the comment, "I just ask them, what is your heart saying?" The idea was that this persons heart would be a good indicator of the right thing. My first thought was "not so fast my friend." 

I was reminded of God's word in Jeremiah 17:9. Which says this. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" I don't like that idea, but I believe it is true. In Romans 7, Paul tells us  that sin is deceitful. Both of those passages are good reminders for me. I think the world is full of self-deceived people. I think often I am self-deceived. 

This really bothers me. As much as I want to trust my heart, I know that often, it is flat out wrong. The challenge is that often my heart will try and protect me from pain. The reality of truth is that it often causes my heart to ache. When I look at the condition of this world through God's eyes my heart aches. When I am honest about my short comings and sin my heart aches. When I honestly examine the state of the church today there are pains in my heart. 

I am reminded if I am not careful my heart will deceive me. I will convince myself that all is fine. No worries, no problems, life is good. I can easily find someone to compare myself to and decide I am doing much better than that guy. What happens is, if  I stay in that place very long I become plastic. I start to loose my true identity and worse I start to loose my hunger and need for God.

I so much want to be real. To live with true authenticity. To expose my heart to God so that his Spirit can change it and make it new. I am asking God to create a clean heart and a steadfast spirit in me. A heart that feels the pain that is a reality in this life and reminds me that I was not created for this life. That I am on a pilgrimage, on my way home to be with the Father.

But while I am here he will give me a new heart. He will breath life into my dead heart and even allow me to share that life with others. I believe that Jesus did come that we might have life and have it more abundantly, and that life is now. 

I am reminded it starts with an honest heart. A heart that feels both the pain and joy of this life. A heart that I am reminded today, desperately needs Jesus.

Peace, todd

Blessings Anyone?

Do you ever find it hard to receive a blessing? Could be from a friend, a spouse maybe even from God. You are grateful but feel a little uneasy about it. I find blessings a very funny thing. I desire them, sometimes feel like I deserve one and then it happens and I'm not sure what to do with it.

Most of  us are familiar with the idea that "it is more blessed to give than receive." I certainly find it easier to give than receive. But this idea does not eliminate receiving. Sometime we take ideas from scripture and make them mean more or different than the original idea. Giving is a blessing but it is also OK to receive.  As children of God we are also taught to be needy of the things of God. If we are needy and I am, we would also need to expect and receive blessings.

I believe it is God's heart to bless us. But here is where it gets a little confusing. I believe he blesses us with what we need and not so much what we want. Sometimes as a child of God I get confused with needs and wants. Mason would eat cereal for every meal if I allowed that. I would not be a blessing to him to give him permission to do that. It would not be unhealthy.

The other part that gets screwy for me is thinking blessings are earned. If I'm a good boy God will bless me. That some how I deserve the blessings. Then the blessings become about my worthiness and good behavior. I try to earn them and then loose the joy when it happens.

Here is what I'm trying to grasp today. It is God's nature to bless me. Not because I'm good but because he is good. God's blessings are not about me deserving anything, it is about his nature to bless his children. More about him less about me.

It would be such a blessing if I could get that!

Peace, todd

Random Control

Wow! I have been away for a while. Trying to get back in the blogging groove.

I am currently reading a book titled The Black Swan. It is a very cool book. At least the parts I understand. Here is the basic idea of a Black Swan. A Black Swan is a highly improbable event with three principal characteristics: It is unpredictable; it carries massive impact; and here is my favorite part; after the fact, we concoct an explanation that makes it appear less random, and more predictable, than it was. 

In layman terms, life is much more random than we would like to believe. The author has created some very interesting thoughts for me. I know we are a people that love order and we prefer to be able to explain everything. We are actually pretty good at this. But I wonder sometimes if it is a defense mechanism. I wonder, if in our attempts to explain and understand everything we are really attempting to control the events and people in our day to day lives.

The challenge with this is we tend to focus on what we already know and not so much on what we don't know. Even as we seek information or data to support our belief or view we tend to gravitate towards information that will support what we already believe.  I think we all do this, but I keep thinking it may not be the best plan. Maybe the more comforting way to go, but not always the best.

If we take this approach with culture, spouses, children, coworkers, our view of ourselves, God and many other things we run the risk of living with blinders and missing many beautiful things every day. We tend to fool ourselves into thinking we know more than we actually do. I believe when this happens we start missing opportunities to learn, grow and experience a bigger life.

God, is a great example. Many people in the world today seem to think they have him totally figured out. Just like the stock market. The truth is most stock analyst are educated gamblers, if there is such a thing. I'm pretty sure God is a little more complicated than the stock market. And yet many seem to think they have him all figured out. I'm not so sure I want to totally figure out God. I would like to think he is a little bigger and more complex than the human mind.

The danger is that when I get to a place that I have God figured out I'm not as receptive to what he might do outside of my understanding of him. God's word is full of Black Swan events that have impacted the world and we keep trying to explain most of them so that they make perfect sense and fit nicely into our limited understanding.

I think our lives are a little more random than most of us would like to believe. Not void of a plan and purpose, but not quite as easy to direct and control as we would like to believe. Maybe part of giving up our own will and submitting to God's will is understanding this. That God is moving and working in the world and in our lives but not always the way we think. God is not a God of chaos but he certainly seems to be going about things a little different than I would.

I'm not asking for any more chaos in my life. I'm just reminding myself today I don't have to have it all figured out. I'm empowered to make choices and decisions every day but there are many, many things far out of my scope of control. Doesn't need to stress me out. I can roll with it and might even learn something new about myself, my wife, God or this beautiful life going on all around me.

Peace, todd

Love Hurts

While in Mexico with some of our youth group, I jokingly started singing the song Love Hurts. Focusing on the line, "love is like a flame it burns you when it's hot." Some of the kids laughed about this and I have had a few say to me since our return, "remember Mr. Mead, love hurts." All of this was done in jest and we still have a good laugh about it. But that idea has been stuck in my head. Maybe there is some truth to this idea that "love hurts."

The song was originally written by the Everly Brothers, 48 years ago this month. Many groups and individuals have re-done the song, but the version I am most familiar with was done by a group called Nazareth in 1975. It is actually a pretty good song. Not very original. Sounds like someone got dumped by a girl friend and has now realized love has the ability to hurt you.

I have been reminded recently that there is a high risk and reward process to love. The song says "love is just a lie made to make you blue." I would disagree. It can certainly make you blue. But it is not a lie. It is essential to our existence, and well worth the risk.

I have discovered that the ones we love the most have the ability to hurt us at very deep levels. To fully give our hearts away is a scary proposition. It leaves us naked and exposed. This is always a risk.  The truth is some people refuse to take that risk. They think they can protect themselves from pain and then try to experience some small level of love that always leaves them wanting more. It happens in marriages, friendships, parents and children and children and parents, even fully loving ourselves.

The opening line says this, "Love hurts, love scars." I would agree. But maybe the scars simply reflect that we are alive. I think we should get to the end of our time here and have a few scars because we chose to love. You can play it safe and sit on the sideline, never allow your heart to fully love. You may pursue a life that will never experience the battle scars of love. If you take that path, your marriage will never be all it could be. Your friendships will never go to the level you desire them to be. You will not leave the imprint on the world that God intended for you to leave.

Go ahead, be risky. I guess love does hurt, but the blessings of fully loving, quickly wash away the pain.

I am reminded that God's word tells us that "God is love." With that thought I will leave you with a quote I found, from Sir James M. Barrie.

"If you have it (love), you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have."

Peace, todd

Shout Out To Blessings!

Just got back from an incredible week in Mexico. I went with our youth group and my beautiful daughter, Madison. Will need a few post to share some of that experience. It was pretty cool. Today as I get back to reality, I'm thinking about little blessings in life. 

Often these are little things that we tend to miss and they are happening all around us every day. Here is the challenge though. I think some of the greatest blessings are the ones that happen when we are not looking for them. You ever been disappointed on Christmas day or maybe a birthday. You were expecting something big and it was not quite as big as you had built it up to be in your mind. Those are blessing that we are expecting. Kind of like doing something for someone and then expecting a certain response and when we don't get the response we are a little bummed. Again, we are looking for an expected blessing. Expected blessings lead to disappointment.

Blessing are like gifts. I think they mean more when we don't expect them. A couple of weeks ago I got a SIGG water bottle from a couple of friends. (Thanks Karen and Karla) I was not expecting to get a water bottle and certainly not one with such a high cool factor. It made my day and every time I use it, I'm reminded of little blessings. Plus, I think water taste better when drinking from a SIGG.

While I'm writing this I'm listening to, We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things, by Jason Mraz. Besides a great title, he has a very cool sound, one of the types of music I really enjoy. I did not know anything about Mraz last week. I was talking about music with some of our teens. They put this in for me to listen to. They turned me on to several musicians that were new to me. Aside from having to spend money on some new tunes, a cool unexpected blessing. 

My water bottle and new music have reminded me to be more aware of the little daily blessings of life. They remind me to be more sensitive to what is going on around me each day and not miss the little things. 

I am also reminded of all the people that bless me every day. Pretty amazing if you think about it. How God puts people in our lives that bless us. I want to be that person. The one who is a blessing. How about you?

Peace,

"Amazing Grace" I Want Some Of That!

Guilt is a fascinating reality in my life. Guilt happens for me when I "should of on myself." Just for the record, you shouldn't "should of on yourself." Wait, I think I just did. See, this guilt thing gets real screwy.

This morning  Mason, Doug and I were going through our workout out front. My neighbor comes out to leave for work and says, "you guys are making me feel guilty", and ready, here it comes. She said "I should be working out." She dropped the dreaded, "should of" on herself. It reminded me that feeling guilty is my choice. Guilt is climbing in a bath full of condemnation and choosing to sit in it for a while. God's word says, "there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

Michael broke both his wrist in a basketball game Saturday night. We were playing in a tournament and I was coaching. The game had gotten out of hand. We were up by 60 and several guys had been trying to get a dunk. I was a little uncomfortable with that wanting the guys to finish the game and move on to the next one with no injuries. Michael had already gotten a sweet dunk, his first in a game and wanted one more. He went up to dunk with two hands and swung to much, his hands came off the rim and he feel head first, broke his fall with his hands and broke both wrists. I have chosen to feel guilty about that all week. Feeling like I could have prevented it from happening.

Guilt is like a stinky shirt we choose to put on and wear. I am weary of wearing a stinky shirt all week. My neighbors words reminded me this morning that it was my choice. I had chosen to "should of on myself."  I put it on and I can take it off.

I am reminded today that God's grace is sufficient. You and I were not created to walk through this life being burdened by guilt. I just wish it weren't so hard to extend that grace to myself.

Peace, 

 

Fathers Day and Rain

I am still processing fathers day! That particular day has always been a struggle for me. Growing up it always served as a reminder that I had no father to say, "Happy Fathers Day Dad, I Love You!" to which I'm sure he would have replied "I Love You too, son." Not having a dad presented several challenges for me.

First by not having a dad I would create in my mind what my dad would have been like. I'm sure that the father son relationship I had created in my mind was not very close to reality. The dad I created was perfect, he was a dream dad, literally and figuratively. What I have learned after being a father for 17+ years and working with teens and adults for 20+ years and is there are not any perfect dads out there.

The other challenge is that I believe dads are suppose to affirm and bless their children. I have always wanted that father blessing. I believe this father blessing, is very different and unique than any other blessing we get in this life time. With out it most of us walk through life with some type of limp. For some the limp is very noticeable and some of us hide it pretty well. But if you look close you will see it manifest itself somewhere.

Mine is now much like a bum knee that aches a little when it rains or when it is cold and damp. Just a reminder of a more serious wound that has healed.  Scar tissue that reminds me of a deeper pain I use to feel. 

Fathers day is like a cold rain. There is a little ache in the heart but not to bad.

God and Fitness

I was visiting with a friend recently. I referenced in the conversation that someone I know really wanted "security in their life." This friend mentioned he had read something about security being a form of idolatry. I have continued to think about that and I believe I would agree. 

There are some forms of security that would not be a bad thing. I attempt to secure my house every night. I check doors and make sure they are locked, check lights etc. This is a good thing to do, but I would acknowledge it has limitations. I crawl in bed feeling a little better but realize if someone wants in bad enough they will get in. So do I lay awake all night listening for any noise getting up and checking doors and windows? No I go to sleep trusting my family and I can sleep with some assurance of security. A pretty normal process for each of us.

What about relationships, money, careers, my stuff, my heath? Here is where security can get a little screwy. I want security in my relationship with my wife. I want to trust her and know that she will be there for me. But how much control do I have over her? At times in our twenty+ years together I have tried to control her. It didn't work very well for either one of us. And if it gave me any security it was an allusion, not real security. 

What about financial security? I know people who pursue it all their lives and it can be taken away in an instant. I am not suggesting we should be careless when it comes to finances. God calls us to be good stewards. But how much of our security in life is based on the balance in our checkbooks? By the way, my checkbook is not providing a great deal of security.

What about health? I work hard in this area, exercise hard (Kettlebells), eat pretty well and yet there are some things totally out of my control related to health. So how much stock do I put in health? You tracking with me here?

End of the day much of the security in this life is about control. The reality here is, I like to be in control. And when I choose that path I attempt to provide my own security. I basically choose to dismiss God, and become my own god. And shazam! I now have idolatry. 

The truth is, as much as I would like to be god. I'm not very good at it. So my friend's comments remind me, that my security needs to be in God. Trusting that he will be faithful. It's that whole enjoying today and not being anxious about tomorrow. Chasing security and trying to control this life,  robs me of my joy and peace.

Plus if I let him be God, it gives me more time to workout. 

Peace,

Mowing, Jack Johnson and God

I was edging the yard Saturday and Mason was mowing. I was reminded that life is always better together. I enjoy working in the lawn for the first few months of the summer. By August I am tired of it, although it already feels like August. To edge, weed eat and mow takes me several hours. But with Mason mowing and me edging and weed eating we were only in the yard about an hour. Perfect!

This mowing experience with my son reminded me of Jack Johnson and God. I will explain. Jack has a great song called, Better Together and God created you and I to do life in community, together with others. I really believe God created us with the understanding that life really is better when lived out together, in relationships.

Can you remember a time when you were living your life in isolation out of community with people? I believe our world is full of lonely people. There are all kinds of goofy reasons and lies we believe that lead us to a place of loneliness, isolation and out of relationship with others and God. But we were not created to do life alone. 

So if you need a little community come on over. You can pick. The mower or the edger. We can mow, get my yard looking good, go inside get a cold drink, listen to Jack and enjoy life. Because it really is better together.

Peace,

Batman God and Underdog

Is Batman a super hero? Most would respond pretty quickly, either yes or no. I guess we would make our decision based on our personal definition of super hero. Take away his utility belt and he is just another rich guy concerned about mean people and injustice, not necessarily a super hero. It is funny how we make decisions about people based on information from key sources in our life and life experiences. 

What about God. Who is he and what is he really like? Scripture says that you and I were created in the image of God both male and female. Now this obviously has nothing to do with our anatomy. Because there is a difference. Won't get into that today, maybe another time. It is safe to say that there are qualities and characteristics about you and I that mirror the image of God. That is actually pretty cool. We are each beautiful based on that reason alone.

Back to Batman. I don't really care if you think he is a super hero or not. We can debate that, argue that and at the end of the day, doesn't really matter. What does matter is what you and I think about who God really is. I believe we were created in the image of God and have turned around and tried to create God in our image. It is funny how we get things all backwards, from time to time.

I guess I get why we do this and maybe it is not always a bad thing. But creating God in our image doesn't work very well. We put limits on him, make him something he is not and really make the whole God thing confusing. We confine him to our limited understanding and experiences, or put all our stock in what someone else says that he is. God said, "My ways are not your ways." He was pretty clear with Job, that Job was going to have a difficult time fully grasping the ways of God.

For some reason I'm pretty comfortable with this. In fact I don't want to fully understand God. I really like God's response to Moses. He told Moses to tell the people that "I Am" sent you. It reminds me that God is God that is enough.

Batman is much easier to debate. The whole utility belt bugs me. You take that away and he is not that impressive. Now Underdog on the other hand, "a true super hero" but that's another blog.

Peace, 

To Grow Or Not To Grow

Walking home Sunday I had a thought. "Can you experience growth without some level of discomfort?" I am talking about any kind of growth. Physical growth, emotional growth, spiritual growth, don't all of these require some level of discomfort.

My 14 year old daughter tells me her legs hurt because she is growing. I think we call those, "growing pains." So my thought is maybe growing pains happen in every area of growth or change. You have heard the phrase, "he learned a hard lesson', same idea. He had to learn something through some level of pain. 

C. S. Lewis wrote a great book entitled The Problem With Pain. He wrote this book after losing his wife to cancer. His insights for this book were birthed out of loss and grief. Back to this idea that pain or discomfort seem to always be part of change and growth.

But here is the problem. Myself and most people are not real fond of low levels of discomfort and certainly not full blown pain. So I become pretty good at avoiding pain. Actually our current culture is very skilled at pain avoidance. We do all kinds of goofy things in an attempt to avoid any kind of discomfort. We work, we drink, we shop, we stay very busy, we pursue stuff, look at pornography, gamble, pursue shallow relationships, we do religion, ignore our hearts anything to avoid the pain we sense in our lives. 

So many of us don't grow into the people we were called and created to be. So I'm thinking "can I grow with the absence of pain in my life?"

I really want to grow. Ouch!

Peace,

Double Vision

Feeling a little philosophical today. That gets me in trouble sometimes. I keep thinking about a scene in the movie The Matrix. Neo the main character in the movie seems to know that something is not right in his world. Intuitively he realizes things are not what they seem. I often find myself in that same place. There are times I sense that much of what I focus on really has little significance. That much of what our culture focuses on really does not matter. It stirs something in my spirit and makes me very restless.

There is a great scene in the movie when Morpheous, the leader of a rebel group first meets Neo. He offers him a choice of two pills, one blue one red. One will open his eyes to see the world as it really is. One will let him go back to living his normal life, ignorant to realities of his world. Neo chooses the pill that will open his eyes to see things as they really are. Once he does that the adventure begins.

I'm afraid things are not as they seem. I know this and I get restless. Maybe its time for an adventure that I keep putting on hold.

Peace,

 

SOS to Yoda

My kids think I am a Jedi Knight. Actually maybe not. I have told them that I am but have not been able to produce a convincing light saber or move anything with my mind. They may be on to me. 

Sometimes I feel like a Jedi. Today was one of those days. "A disturbance in the force I feel." Today something in my spirit has been bugging me. Can't seem to figure it out. I have been trying to make contact with Yoda and he is obviously in another galaxy. Just my luck!

Peace,

Love Shack

So I am reading this book called The Shack. I have fought it for months. I had to many people telling me "you have to read this book" not always a good thing. Andi brought it over yesterday and I stayed up till 12:30am reading. It is a good read. My problem has been every time I say the name of the book, The Shack, I want to bust out a chorus of B52's Love Shack Baby. 

Now understand the two shacks in question here are very different. But I think I have found a significant connection. It would be LOVE.

What an over used word love is in our modern day vocabulary. I love pizza, my wife, the Sooners and coffee. Maybe not in that order but I say I love eighteen different things a day. I do love my wife but the other stuff, I just like a lot not really so much love. Listen today and see how many times you here someone say " Oh I just love _________!" (fill in the blank). I Wonder why we throw this word, love around so loosely and so often? Maybe because true love is so hard to find and especially hard to experience.

There is a great line in the book The Shack. "You were created to be loved. So for you to live as if you were unloved is a limitation." That one got my attention. I have lived much of my life feeling unloved and having a hard time accepting others love. I recognize the limitations that puts on me but never really saw it that way. It is like all you want is to be loved but for some reason you just don't seem to experience the very thing your heart deeply desires. 

I totally get how we can get to a place that we feel unlovable, but it's not true. The truth is each of us are lovable and worthy of love. But we have to believe that. If we don't believe that we automatically put limitations on our lives. 

This all reminds me of one of my favorite verses in God's word. 

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!

 And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

I need to remember that. Remember that the Father loves me. Not just loves me, but is lavish with his love. Kind of like he just keeps pouring it over my head with an endless supply. Walking in that kind of love every day would be very empowering, don't you think.

Peace, 

So How's That Working For You?

I am grateful for Memorial Day. Grateful that our country is willing to set aside a time to remember the men and women who have died for the pursuit of freedom. I am thankful for all those men and women. I also think about from this day forward and wonder if there is another way. Do people have to continue to die on the battle field. I ask my self today how is the whole war thing working?

I read an interesting quote this morning. Don't know who to credit it to, but here it is. "When the power of love is greater than the love of power, the world will be at peace." On this Memorial Day I remember the one man who truly came in the name of love. He offered and continues to offer a better way. His Kingdom is not one that leads with the kind of power we seem to gravitate towards.

In our Christian Country, (whatever that means) we lead with power and might. We even go off to war with God on our side using him as a pawn to validate or justify our pursuit of power and world dominance. Of course this is not original with us, it has been going on for centuries. We need to be honest, we are not pursuing peace as much as we are pursuing power. There is a big difference. That kind of power will never produce peace. It produces death. So we will continue to have Memorial Days.

So today I give thanks and remember the men and women who have served and died. I also remember the one who died so that this life could be different. He has been called "The Prince of Peace." That has a nice ring to it. I believe we have been pursuing a little peace.

"So how is this whole war thing working for you?"

Peace,

American Idol This Sunday

I am teaching/preaching this weekend. Whatever you prefer to call it. I prefer teaching. It always creates some interesting dynamics for me. I really enjoy it and want people to be blessed by sitting and listening to me. I realize a big part of myself is weaved into the lesson, but I don't want it to be about me. I think teaching matters and should be a part of what we do when we get together. But I also believe we put way too much emphasis on it.

I believe in our American/Western culture we worship Pastors. I believe God calls this idolatry. He is pretty clear he is not a real big fan of this. We simply take him off the alter and put a man up there. Certainly not a new phenomenon, but still wrong. 

I hope this weekend people will see Jesus and not too much of me. Let's save American Idol for Wednesday or whatever night it comes on. Oh wait, now we are back at idolatry. Darn maybe it's not just Pastors. 

Peace, 

I Hugged My Son

Have you laughed until you cried or cried until you laughed? It seems the two are profoundly connected. Maybe the truth is to experience life to the fullest we must experience both the joy and the sorrow that are both a reality of this life.

Sometime my life gets out of balance in this area. I often find sorrow more comfortable than joy. That will not leave me in a happy place and my family and friends don't always know how to respond to that. I want more joy but sometimes find it allusive. 

If the two (joy and sorrow) are so closely connected maybe I can find more joy in my sorrow.

My 38 year old cousin, Daniel Max Mead, took his life Wednesday. I guess he was overwhelmed with life and felt like ending his was the best option he had.  Daniel was a good man with a good heart who needed more joy in his life. 

On the phone with my mother discussing this today, the sorrow comes rushing in. I think I need to feel that for Daniel, his wife and kids, my Aunt and Uncle. Sometimes people try to run from sorrow and pretend it is not there. That life is only joy and good times. That can get as unhealthy as living with sorrow all the time.

I want to embrace the brokenness in my life and the world, taste sorrow when it is present. But, what Jesus models is that in brokenness I can find life, I can experience joy. So I want both. More joy because life is good, more joy because Abba loves me. I also want a heart that has compassion for the pain in my life and the lives of others. I want both and that's OK.

I experienced sorrow this morning and then I hugged my boy and I felt better.

Peace,

Birds and Poor People

I went to my men's group this morning which I do each Thursday. Great group of men and always one of the highlights of my week. The text and conversation really challenged me. I continue to wrestle with it a bit. 

The text was Matt. 6:25-34. This text encourages me not to worry about my life. Little things like what I will have to eat and the clothes I wear. Jesus uses the birds as an example. I love birds, but that is a different post. God takes care of the birds so I can trust that God will provide for me. I agree with this and have experienced it to be true in my life. So it seems pretty simple and I just need to not worry about stuff. Ready to move on to the next verses. 

But wait! What about the people in our world who really don't have food, shelter or clothes to wear. I'm thinking about this but decide to let it go. One of the guys does not. He ask the question. "So what about all the people who don't have their basic needs taken care of"?

So the challenge for me is this. Is it true or not? Will God really take care of people the same way that he takes care of the birds?

Here is my resolution on this for right now. Understanding I always have the right to change my mind. Have I mentioned that I am a walking contradiction. Wait, that is another post. 

We live in a fallen world. Bad things happen to good people every day. God has called his Church which includes me to care for those who don't have food, shelter and clothing. So why does the church and myself so often do such a poor job of caring for the basic needs of the world around us?

Through this process, that was the bigger and more difficult question for me. Then the text comes full circle. I don't live with open hands to the world around me because I worry. I want to have all the stuff I need like food, clothing, shelter, cars, TVs, cool running shoes, vanilla breve lattes, books(have I mentioned I like books), just lot's of stuff. Stuff that I really don't need. The truth is it is stuff I want. God is ready and willing to give me what I need. 

So all that to say, I learned something today about God and myself. God will take care of my needs, and if I trust him I can then be more sensitive to the needs of others around me. I can be an extension of God's love and grace to the world that desperately needs to know him. What if the church (universal) started to take care of the poor and needy? Didn't put it on our governments or other organizations, but took seriously the call to take care of the needy.

I believe God wants us to do that. He wants me to do that. I hear him saying to me today. He is saying, don't worry about your stuff, don't live with your hands closed. Live with your hands open, trusting that I will take care of all your needs. He and I feed the birds and he wants you and I to feed and care for those in need. Living with no worries, just like the birds. But then I wonder. Do the birds worry about cat's. Oh wait, that would be another post.

Peace, 

The Loving Father

This picture has had a huge impact on my life. It is one of Rembrandt's spirituals titled, the Return of the Prodigal Son.

I was first introduced to it through a book by Henri Nouwen with the same title. I find myself in this picture. Let me explain.

This story found in Luke 15 has three main characters. The father, the elder son and the younger son. I find myself in each of these characters.

I relate to the younger son who basically says the father does not have my best interest at heart and I will go do my own thing. Been there do that.

I can also be the self righteous elder brother who thinks I'm doing things pretty well and even better than most. He really did not believe the father was really watching his back either.

Neither boy really believed that the father was good. Neither believed that the father could be trusted, that he would be faithful to them as his children.

This painting and the book forced me to put my focus somewhere else. This story really is about the loving father. A father who longs to be in relationship with all his children even me. This father sits up late at night waiting for me to come home. His heart aches when I wonder off trying to do life on my own. His love is based only on the fact that I am his. The more I understand this the more I want to be like the Father.

There is so much more to this picture. The prodigals shaved head and bare feet are significant. In his culture he was unacceptable, he had messed up big time but the Father does not even seem to notice. He is just elated that his son has come home. I see a father of compassion, love and grace.

I so much want to be that kind of father. I want to love my wife and kids unconditionally. I want to be in relationships where I extend compassion and grace. 

I want to be like the Father. I think he would be just fine with that.

Peace, 

Forward Motion

I would suggest that much of life is simply forward motion. Taking risks, growing as a person, experiencing life, pursuing dreams, all of these require forward motion. We have to take steps toward those dreams and desires or they stay an arms length away. Today I am taking a step and creating forward motion. I have talked about blogging for a long time and simply would not take the simple steps to make that happen. Two months ago Natalie (my beautiful wife) informed me in the middle of the night, like 3:30 am that I should be blogging. It was rather random for her to be talking to me in the middle of the night and for her to say out of the blue "you really need to start blogging".  So today it begins. 

Sir Isaac Newton developed his three laws of motion. Now I am not really smart enough to fully understand these, but I do find them interesting. The first one states (1) an object in motion stays in motion until acted upon by an outside force. I don't really think Sir Isaac was talking about a spiritual truth here but I see one. I believe God created me for forward motion. So I wonder what is it about life that locks me up? What keeps me paralyzed and stops me from pursuing my dreams and walking fully in what God has called and created me to be? For me it is fear. I know fear is not from the Lord. So maybe Sir Issac was on to something here. I am striving to allow, as C.S. Lewis would say "the Christ in Me" to create forward motion.

Starting this blog is just on of many baby steps. I so enjoy this journey!

Peace,