Sometime my life gets out of balance in this area. I often find sorrow more comfortable than joy. That will not leave me in a happy place and my family and friends don't always know how to respond to that. I want more joy but sometimes find it allusive.
If the two (joy and sorrow) are so closely connected maybe I can find more joy in my sorrow.
My 38 year old cousin, Daniel Max Mead, took his life Wednesday. I guess he was overwhelmed with life and felt like ending his was the best option he had. Daniel was a good man with a good heart who needed more joy in his life.
On the phone with my mother discussing this today, the sorrow comes rushing in. I think I need to feel that for Daniel, his wife and kids, my Aunt and Uncle. Sometimes people try to run from sorrow and pretend it is not there. That life is only joy and good times. That can get as unhealthy as living with sorrow all the time.
I want to embrace the brokenness in my life and the world, taste sorrow when it is present. But, what Jesus models is that in brokenness I can find life, I can experience joy. So I want both. More joy because life is good, more joy because Abba loves me. I also want a heart that has compassion for the pain in my life and the lives of others. I want both and that's OK.
I experienced sorrow this morning and then I hugged my boy and I felt better.
Peace,
2 comments:
Todd, sometimes I am amazed at how much tragedy can surround one person. I pray that God comforts you and your family as you hurt for a lost life and those left behind. Now I am going to go hug MY boys too.
I know you don't know me, but I had the pleasure of working with Daniel both while he worked at UPI and at Ample Industries... in fact he helped me get my job at Ample. He was indeed a good man, and one that I admired a great deal. I hadn't spoken to him in months and it was a shock to hear about what happened. I'm terribly sorry for your loss, and I wish you all the joy you can find.
-Landon Martin
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