1+1=One

For the last three months I have been counseling people on a daily basis. This has been challenging, fun and at times a little overwhelming. One of the facets of counseling I really enjoy is "peeling the onion" and trying to remove the layers people tend to build so we can expose the root cause of the challenges they are facing. I like to listen and look for patterns in peoples lives that might give some insight into their problems. One pattern I see over and over is people are very disconnected. Being disconnected relationally from others causes all kinds of dysfunction for people.
If you think about it, connection is a pretty big deal. From the day we are born being connected becomes vital to a child's well being. Babies that have a strong bond with their mother and father tend to fare much better than babies who do not have a healthy connection. From childhood through adolescence people do some pretty outrageous things in an attempt to connect with the world around them. So where does this strong desire and need to connect with others come from?
I believe there is a pattern in scripture that gives us some insight. When God created Adam and Eve they were in relationship and connected with God. God gives us a design for marriage in Genesis 2:24. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. I believe the idea is that oneness requires a deep connection for a husband and a wife. A connection that is spiritual, emotional and physical. Every couple that I see are essentially saying to me in some way. "We are disconnected and I desperately want to connect with this person". Many times they are so disconnected they are not sure if a connection is possible or even desirable. But this is more than a marriage problem.
I work with many men. I am generalizing but 9 out of 10 of the men I see are disconnected. They are often disconnected from there own feelings, their wives or isolated from healthy relationships with other men. If the thief wants to "steal kill and destroy" John 10:10. His greatest strategy is to get you isolated and disconnected from healthy life giving relationships. Or his other strategy is to present connections that appear to be life giving and relationships that offer connection, but actually lead to death and more disconnect. Let me remind you he is a master of illusion.
John 17 gives us a beautiful prayer. Jesus is praying in the garden before his arrest and eventual death. He is talking with the Father and in his words you hear a deep connection to the one he prays to. In vs. 21 he prays these words, "My prayer for all of them is that they will be one just as you and I are one". I don't believe is a stretch to say Jesus wants you and I to be connected to God the way Jesus has always been connected to the Father and that he wants us to also be connected to one another. This is a pattern you see all through the narrative of scripture.
We were created to be in relationship with God and humanity. It is part of our created DNA. When we are connected in healthy relationships life works pretty well. When we are disconnected life can get crazy fast. Marriages that are connected in healthy ways are fun and life giving. Parents who are connected to their children experience more joy and less stress. Strong friendships that have a strong connection are a great blessing and help us navigate an often crazy and disconnected world.
So connection is a pretty big deal. I believe the model God has given us starts with our personal connection to him and then flows into our connection with others. Think about some of the people you are connected to. Be grateful for the way they impact your life and bring you great joy. If you are reading this and feel very disconnected from those you love and care about hang in there. If God created us for connection and I believe he did. He will give us the opportunities to experience relationships. It may require you to do some things differently so you have better receptors to connect with others. How about I share some thought on that next time.

Peace, todd