Haircuts and Church

I had a beautiful random conversation with the lady who cut my hair today. I have moved to a place in my life where I just pull up to a hair salon walk in and take my chances. I figure it's just hair it will grow back. Today this women was obviously struggling a little. She did not have a clue what I do (ministry) which probably helped the conversation get started. 

She started discussing freedom and that she did not have any. She was slave to the chair I was sitting in, slave to the man who financed her car, basically a slave to her circumstances. I listened and I believe I understood where she was coming from. What I really heard was a women who wants more for her life. I saw a women who had been wounded by people and the world we live in, some of the choices she has made. I saw a women who was looking for some hope.

I mentioned it must be really hard being a single mom. She stopped cutting my hair and came around and looked at me. We had not been talking about that, but it seemed to connect. She looked at me and said, "yeah, it really is." I seemed to connect with some of her pain and the conversation shifted. She teared up. The conversation shifted and turned much more personal. 

I finally had to share with her what I do. Ask her not to hold that against me. She was gracious but quickly said she did not go to church. She had tried it over and over but it did not work for her. 

I apologized for God's people not representing Him very well. I shared with her that God understood where she was at and had some answers. That freedom can be found in Jesus and it has nothing to do with our external circumstances but with what he is doing in our hearts. We visited a few minutes more and I left her with tears in her eyes but also a smile. A smile that seemed more hopeful than it had been before the conversation started.

I was reminded how the world will always disappoint, but that God is faithful. Reminded that God is redeeming his creation today. His heart is to make everything new. I like that about him. I was also reminded church is so much more than an hour on Sunday. The best church happens during the week, when we are sensitive to where the Spirit is moving and we jump in for the ride.

Peace, todd

Keeping It Real

Have you ever noticed the Bibles speaks truths that are sometimes very uncomfortable? A friend recently was sharing a story with me of how they were providing council to another friend. They made the comment, "I just ask them, what is your heart saying?" The idea was that this persons heart would be a good indicator of the right thing. My first thought was "not so fast my friend." 

I was reminded of God's word in Jeremiah 17:9. Which says this. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" I don't like that idea, but I believe it is true. In Romans 7, Paul tells us  that sin is deceitful. Both of those passages are good reminders for me. I think the world is full of self-deceived people. I think often I am self-deceived. 

This really bothers me. As much as I want to trust my heart, I know that often, it is flat out wrong. The challenge is that often my heart will try and protect me from pain. The reality of truth is that it often causes my heart to ache. When I look at the condition of this world through God's eyes my heart aches. When I am honest about my short comings and sin my heart aches. When I honestly examine the state of the church today there are pains in my heart. 

I am reminded if I am not careful my heart will deceive me. I will convince myself that all is fine. No worries, no problems, life is good. I can easily find someone to compare myself to and decide I am doing much better than that guy. What happens is, if  I stay in that place very long I become plastic. I start to loose my true identity and worse I start to loose my hunger and need for God.

I so much want to be real. To live with true authenticity. To expose my heart to God so that his Spirit can change it and make it new. I am asking God to create a clean heart and a steadfast spirit in me. A heart that feels the pain that is a reality in this life and reminds me that I was not created for this life. That I am on a pilgrimage, on my way home to be with the Father.

But while I am here he will give me a new heart. He will breath life into my dead heart and even allow me to share that life with others. I believe that Jesus did come that we might have life and have it more abundantly, and that life is now. 

I am reminded it starts with an honest heart. A heart that feels both the pain and joy of this life. A heart that I am reminded today, desperately needs Jesus.

Peace, todd